A story with a happy ending after all— but not for the creeper

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I’m working on a definitive breakdown of the Daniel Holtzclaw case. If you haven’t heard of that, he’s the former Oklahoma City police officer who was sent to prison for 250+ years for sexually assaulting 13 different women while on the job.

To my mind the Holtzclaw case was the single most significant rape prosecution of my lifetime. Seeing Holtzclaw convicted felt like winning the lottery on my birthday.

So Holtzclaw deserves a deep dive. I expect it to be about five parts and coming soon…

My tried-and-true method will make you wish a motherf*r would

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Folks, I trust that you all know what I mean when I say “getting CK’d.” Unfortunately having guys pull out their business at awkward moments is a thing that happens as many of us know.

Hat Tip to Sandra Lopez aka “The Girl Who Loved Ted Nugent”

At my school in Chicago Sandra Lopez was the tall, thin, athletic girl. She was the fastest runner, toughest fighter, and best basketball player in our school including the 8th-grade boys. And she was known for loving Ted Nugent long before we had any idea how questionable he was. …

Hello, I was that latchkey kid who kept a notebook of words to look up

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Shani Silver dropped a pearl of protocol wisdom and this article exists because I immediately adopted it:

My policy is this: May whatever hurts my feelings make me money.

I don’t remember exactly how old I was, probably 9 or 10, so let’s say the early 1970s. It was daytime. I was outside walking around Chicago alone like I did most days. And I have no idea what happened before or after.

I’m only sure of two things: the drug store and the park off…

One more predator relieved of his badge and gun

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Cansas Sadler, Jr. had an enviable life. The former Army Ranger instructor had retired from the military at 41 with a nice pension. Married for almost 20 years, he had two daughters.

After his Army career Sadler was hired on as a deputy with the Okaloosa County, Florida Sheriff’s Office. He had been working there almost a year and was still in probationary status. With good health, his family, and a new job with a starting salary of $42,120 plus a military pension, at a glance Sadler’s life looked enviable.

But I figured out how to fix it

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For many years I heard people talk about things that I never quite understood, for example “grounding” and “low self-esteem.” The self-help world was full of ideas and suggestions that seemed beyond my grasp. When people would talk about self-hatred I didn’t think that applied to me. I hated my life, not myself. The whole conversation left me confused and feeling like a failure.

As my friend Jill said, low self-esteem was behind every bad decision I ever made.

Looking back on it all I feel great about how far I’ve come…

On flying monkeys and how to deal with them

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

From Wikipedia:

Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where one person will not communicate directly with another person, instead using a third person to relay communication to the second, thus forming a triangle. It also refers to a form of splitting in which one person manipulates a relationship between two parties by controlling communication between them.

Triangulation may manifest itself as a manipulative device to engineer rivalry between two people, known as divide and conquer[1] or playing one (person) against another.[2]

One way to think about triangulation is “two wolves and a…

The banality of incel

FBI photo of Scott Berkett

To be clear, when I say this story “ended great,” like with every story I cover in No Sh*t, Sherlock I truly wish it would never have happened and would not need to be written at all. This shouldn’t be a thing.

In the above picture Scott Berkett has the sort of upper lip situation my middle school classmates used to call a “molestache,” i.e., the clue that you should run away. No shade on the woman he allegedly badgered and tried to kill, it’s not supposed to be her job to stay sexy and don’t…

Thanks From the Children I Didn’t Have

Growing up in Chicago we would visit my mother’s elderly relatives on a farm. Louie would call his wife, Maryadelle, “You old heifer.” It was his joking retort whenever she’d scold him, which she had to do all the time even though they were in their 70s. From dictionary.com, linked above:

Heifers are female cows who have not yet given birth to a calf. Farmers can raise heifers for dairy or for meat. In the 1830s, heifer, which is pronounced “HEFF-er,” was first used as slang for “woman” or “girl.” Since then, it…

The life and crimes of Joseph Michael Kalady

Joseph Michael Kalady Gordon Technical High School Faculty Photo 1963

Part 1: I Saw the Devil’s Face

As I mentioned in Part 1, the very idea of Kalady living as buttoned-down as he’d need to at a place like Gordon Tech, was weird. That is until I considered that Gordon was a boys’ school. I believe that sexually Kalady preferred boys from about 11 to 14 years-old.

My mom wouldn’t allow any discussion where I was upset or crying, so we’ve spoken a total of maybe 100 words at the most about Joe Kalady. But I do recall her saying — and…

The Life and Crimes of Joseph Michael Kalady

Joseph Michael Kalady, Gordon Technical High School English Teacher, 1964

I wasn’t looking for trouble, I don’t need the agita. My life has sucked and I’m exhausted. I was pursuing jure sanguinis — Italian citizenship derived from my grandparents. I hope to blow this pop stand and have my Social Security checks sent to me at some vineyard overlooking the sea in my ancestral homeland.

There I was minding my own business on a genealogy site when I had the sudden, unexpected urge to look him up. Before I could stop myself there he was, and I clicked. …

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